I'm back, post raya!

This is unbelievably short cos I am already in the office and work is keeping me busy.
After the long raya silence, I am back and has steadily put back on the weight I lost during Ramadhan. pftt.
Okay gotta get back to work. Laters!

Selamat tinggal Ramadhan 1433H

Assalamualaikum wbt

Saya dengan rendah hati ingin memohon ampun dan maaf kepada sahabat/keluarga yang membaca blog ini atas segala kesilapan dan kekhilafan saya sepanjang kita berhubungan.

Setiap tahun pun sedih rasa bila Ramadhan nak tinggalkan kita. Especially bila amal ibadah saya tak seberapa mana. Cabaran tahun ni lebih sikit sebab ada toddler, dan sebab saya tak bersedia terlebih dahulu. Menyesal tak ikut nasihat kakak saya, prepare for Ramadhan, those who simply stumbles upon Ramadhan without gearing up for it first will find themselves unprepared.
Astaghfirullahalazim.

Tahun ini betul2 berharap dalam hati supaya tahun depan lebih baik,lebih baik,lagi kualiti ibadah dan pengisian Ramadhan. Istajib dua anaa ya Allah!

Kegembiraan saya menyambut raya adalah kerana ahli keluarga ada bersama. Rindu pada adik beradik n mak. Tapi x dpt menutup terkilan hati kerana x kuat melawan nafsu utk beribadah.

Kepada Ustazah Wan Jah, walaupun tak membaca blog ini, terima kasih. Atas usaha anda, insyaAllah ramai orang mendapat hidayah mendapat ilmu.
Ustazah kak wan selalu sebut dalam doa beliau,
"Ya Allah, jadikanlah aku penyebab orang lain mendapat hidayah"
setiap kali sampai part situ airmata dia mengalir.
ya Allah, Kau Berilah pahala setimpal kepada Kak Wan atas usahanya, Kau Permudahkanlah dakwahnya dan Kau Lindungilah dia selalu.
Semoga tahun depan kak Wan bantu saya lagi untuk bersedia awal.

Ustazah Wan Jah juga menyebut, hiasilah malam raya dengan berqiamullail. Kerana malam raya adalah malam2 yang doa paling makbul. Dan dimana pahala mencurah2.
wallahualam.sekadar berkongsi. Semoga saya menjadi penyebab orang lain mendapat hidayah.
Amin.

Sedih sungguh hati ini. tapi menyesal tiada berguna.
Ustazah saya juga pesan jangan sombong meminta kepada Allah, oleh itu, permintaan saya,

Ya Allah, Kau Temukanlah aku dengan Ramadhan tahun hadapan dan berikutnya.
Istajib dua ana, Ya Allah....

Iftar Pak Dollah Air Tawar 4 style

Semalam had the chance to go back to kota tinggi for iftar. And a bit of shopping.
We do go back often since its dekat and secretly, I do it for the inlaws.
FIL n MIL dok berdua je at home and I can tell how lonely they are. Maryam is a therapy for them. its worthwhile to see them laughing at her antics, playing with her. If only I could do the same for my mom. The 500km distance that separates us...haishh..

aaaanyway, kat rumah my in laws food memang always in abundance. Tak pernahnya makanan x cukup or ngam ngam. they always overdo at meal times.taking iftar semalam for example,
the food were;

nasik putih
leftover bihun
ayam masak merah
udang goreng
sotong sumbat
tetel ungkep
kerang sambal (beli)
sayur lemak
telur puyuh sambal (beli)
ikan goreng leftover
almost 6 types of kuih
air teh o, laici, kathira
.
.
and only FOUR people were there.

crazy i'm telling you. My FIL is called pak dollah anyway, hence the title! hahahha
even husband was baffled at how much food there were
I tell you, the inlaws contributes to 40% of me being obese.
the other 60% was my own doing!hahahah
But the best part is we get to bring the food home for sahur.yeah we are cheap (and spoilt)like that. not to mention the tetel ungkep was faaaabbbbbb!

I miss having iftar with my mom. tahun ni mungkin sempat sehari je before raya.
The simplicity of it, my mom worrying if the food tak habis.
I miss home.

I am lopsided

hi i am lopsided today.
Have to got to putrajaya for a morning meeting today.
normally DH n sil cares for the little miss while i was gone.
the thing is since its ramadhan, with sahur and all, with baby always pulling acts during sahur n DH's haywire working hours, and the SiL being 8 months preggers, we had to send little miss balik kampung to kota tinggi
and it broke my heart. yes, i suffer from super clingy mother syndrome
so after work, i took little miss n sil back to kota, one hour drive.
and after iftar, tried putting her to sleep with yours truly tertido sama
i woke up shocked cos its already 1 am, smothered the crying little miss with kisses n drove home with sil. i feel so sorry for her having to follow me around being so advance in pregnancy n all. God bless her!
took a nap n got ready, and left home at 6am.
.
.
only to be informed by office theres a laaaaast minit meeting tomorrow, here, at 9.30 am..

hello, efficient sikit can or not..im already here.with no baju whatsoever.malas fikir.
anyway since little miss didnt nurse this morning n i couldnt locate my pump, well, hasnt been pumping since baby turned 8 months. yes im lazy, i know ha ha

and so my boobs all swollen now n since one side produces more than the other, im lopsided now.
guess its time to marmet.

oy oy tutorial please...

I am having quite a hard time figuring how to make this blog look nice. Looking forward to pop in my baby's picture to light up the dull layout. But as for now it's the end of work for the day and i am going to head to the nursery to pick up little baby. I need to work on my infertility entry though. Coming soon coming soonnnn!!

monday is hard on me

its monday again. The weekend was nice.went back kota tinggi for husband's nephew's wedding. But came back monday with diarhoea. nice. Im fasting today. Another day to go to ganti. So here's wishing i'll behave well n guard my words so that pahala tak kurus. I do have a tendency to bad mouth. sigh. Am planning my travelling to go back ipoh. Train from jb to kl sentral (am taking the bed coach.should be nice enough for baby and i) kl to ipoh with my sister who's driving to ipoh for work. ipoh to kl sentral on the ETS train klia to jb by flight I am looking forward to this trip. It is going to be just baby girl and i and my trusted boba carrier. i looooove my boba! Baby girl is going to enjoy it so much i can tell. She is into vehicles nowadays. Lorries and aeroplane and trains fascinate her so i think this trip is really in the right time. shall record 'crazy trip with one year old toddler just the two of us' in here,definitely!

one tired mommaaa

been meaning to blog everyday. now what happenedddddd.. i knew i was being too ambitious. need to pick up my baby girl. she's my happiness, my pick-me-up-right-away after a day of work. hello baby girl.i love you!

the first post!!

I have been meaning to start blogging a while now. But it did took me a while to start.The intention to write is first and foremost to share. There's so many important friends and the people i love living far from me and by writing here i can reach them pretty much each time they check out this blog. Well,firstly there's the story of my journey battling (so to speak ;p) infertility and then there's of motherhood.and before that probably of conceiving and hypnobirth and of course early education and teaching my baby swimming lessons.there's so much to share and there's so many friends who are moms of mommy-hopefuls or mommy-to-bes or new mommies! So lets share and spread the love,no?! So that's it fer now.gonna go fix myself a fish soup dinner.oh,i mean to write on my struggle to lose weight (or rather, the lack of it.tsk). Till then, happy monday tomorrow peoplesss!