Angry parents, are we?

My wise wise mother once told me, for some, the relationship with the in laws could be as happy and as dandy as could be, until a grandchild is born..
well, the ultimate reason : difference in parenting method.
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years and years before we concieved, my husband and i has started discussing parenting method. well, mostly i broached the subject, he just go along with it.
I knew right away both of us are brought up in totally different environment.
Neither is better or worse, only different.
The first and most talked about subject is corporal punishment.
im not going to discuss that today.lets leave that to another time.
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whenever i came across a first time mother to be, i get really excited and try to share as much as i know. And i always ask, so, hows your preparation.
Just to share what i think should be part of preparing to receive a child is as such;
- basic needs, clothing etc etc
- hypnobirth - have you read on this? do you have plan to practise it?
- breastfeeding - are u going to, are u not going to, have u read enough on breastfeeding?
- babywearing - have u heard of it, have u researched its benefit?
- early education - have you look it up?which method are you going to use?have you prepared the materials to teach your baby?
- parenting parenting parenting!

observing the community i live in, i dont think people really put much thought into what kind of parents we are going to be once the baby pops.
I think this is most important for young parents (at this century, i consider parents aged below 27 to be young,but that's just me!)
Often, people are busy focusing on basic necessities, that when the baby pops, it feels like the task is done. But birth is really a beginning!
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Parents of today mostly works, leaving the baby at daycare or sitters. At the end of the long work day, they come to collect their children. The children are still energetic and pumped, while the poor tired parents just need a break after a long, hectic, office-politics-filled day!
My sister posted on her fb wall once, a qoute, and id like to qoute it back in my own words, without missing the jist of it,
"Children spend their day with stressed out teachers, only to come home to tired, angry parents, and we wonder why our youngsters are so screwed up"
okay, i tweaked the words a bit much hahahah but u get my drift, right.
I get comments from my father in law, or siblings in law on how soft i'm being with my girl, and if its up to them "dah lama dah kenaa.."
of course, i turn a deaf ear.
But the thing is, I have discussed with my husband way before we had the baby, on the kind of environment we want the baby to grow up in.
to me the mathematics are simple, angry parents=angry children=angry teens
my mom once told me how a step in parenting could affect your family for generations.
she said, if ur angry to your child, she wouldnt know any other way but to be angry with her child, and when your grandchild has children, she would also make an angry parent.
is this the kind of trait you hope to run in your family?
Im telling you, that woman is wiseeeeee...
I cringe everytime i see angry parents, for i pity the child.
And i do observe most of our people does not give enough respect to children.
talking to them like they are a nuisance, scream at them in public, up to the extend of slapping them in public.
I am not saying we let the child does anything she wants, and run wild!
But I am sure there are other more effective method aside from screaming and hitting!
we sure cant control the environment outside of home, of course.
My maryam speaks quite early. At around 12 months, she came home one day, saying, BUDUH.
It was as clear as day. She even used it correctly, when she's scolding her toys or things she couldnt reach. The first time we heard, our jaws dropped! But i tell my husband to give no reaction whatsoever, as if we dont know the word. Feel free to disagree, but she was only a year old.How much sense really, can we talk into a one year old toddler.
She still say it once in while, but we just ignore it. The best part when she said it in front of the grandparents..that was the funniest. the grandparents eyes were wide open, their jaws dropped. My Mil even said, "eh anak kau cakap tu.."
i just ask them to relax, and tell them the phase will pass.
True enough, we dont hear the word as much anymore. She has also started slapping people's wrist as punishment but we just advise her its not right to hit.
We cant stop our kids to parrot words and pick up what people around them are doing,
but what we can do is be at our best behavior around them. We all know parents are the best examples to their children.
so i suggest decide what kind of parents we plan to be before the kid arrives, so we a prepared.
Preach!