Infertility part 4 : dealing with the emotions, coping with the frustrations

When I first realize I am actually dealing with infertility, I turned to Trying-To-concieve forums and blogs. It was great help. One should not desert themselves and deal with the issue alone. Infertility goes beyond the questions of "what should we do, what is the next step, what method is available out there, which doctor is the best around?"
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Often, people who does not face this issue are not aware that it goes deeper than that.
"why me?why is everyone else concieving so easily?Is it me or him?what have i done to deserve this?what if people keep asking?how would i answer?"
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i am telling you, the craziest things goes through a woman's head. We think, and overthink, and then we think some more!
I try to talk to peole who's struggling, sharing as much as i could. The treatment i went through, the doctor i liked.
But never once I dare say,
" Ala, takpa la,sabar je. nanti nanti ada la tu"
crazy.how would you know?are you God?what if this woman is not able to concieve ever.
you might think I am overreacting. But believe me, this crosses my mind everytime a well meaning old lady says this to my face.
Truth is you dont know how many years a person has been trying, if she had multiple misscarriages, or maybe the husband is having problem and what nots.
My advice, be kind and pray "Harap2 Allah helps you to concieve."
then just shut up
dont offer stupid suggestions "maybe youre doing it wrong, maybe your husband is the one infertile, cepat cepat la sikit, umur tu dah banyak."
I am telling you, the crazy things people say.
What is the worst thing someone said to me?
I was complaining how long a banana tree at our backyard took to sprout fruit, and a family said "no wonder even the banana tree is infertile, the home owner herself is infertile"
how nice, right. you dont want to know how i answered back hahahha...
and of course i also got along the line of "what are you waiting for, youre not getting any younger yknow, or bila nak ada anak ni"
People could be downright insensitive.
Not everyone can take horrible comments with a pinch of salt you know.
My advice to those dealing with infertility, get help.
Stop moping and filling up your head with whys and get moving.
Read around, look up for other people's story and experience. Share. it makes the burden lighter.
And if you are unable to concieve just yet, This is part of God's plan, and He is Most Wise.
And should it be fated that you are not meant to have one of your own, maybe adoption is an answer. Maybe. There are lots of children out there begging for love. If you have some to spare, then maybe. Maybe.